HaiPu
by Setsuna529
Summary: Short poems about every character in the HP universe (only eighteen so far... I'm workin' on it, all right?). A bit goofy, a tad odd, but give 'em a chance.
1. I to VI

Author's Note, Disclaimer, and Whatnot: I hope you enjoy my poetry, it's not supposed to be "good" per se, but I hope that it is at least somewhat true to the characters and/or funny. Everyone and their mom knows that the characters are J.K. Rowling's creations, so I won't even pretend to say they're mine. For those who may wonder, the poems are written according to number of syllables, sort of like haiku only not. Anyway, thanks for reading, please enjoy, and I appreciate reviews. 

I. Filch   
I have me a cat.   
'er name is Mrs. Norris.   
Together we roam the halls. 

If students are out of bed,   
We will find them and   
Punish them as we see fit. 

II. Snape   
Potions professor;   
I despise all Gryffindors.   
I am missing my sloth brain. 

I'm really not that evil-   
It's all just an act.   
I'm just a drama queen. 

III. Fred/George   
Red hair and freckles;   
The greatest Weasleys of all.   
Percy is a Big Head Boy. 

Please give Ron lots of spiders.   
He likes them. Trust us.   
Troublemakers? Us? No way. 

IV. McGonagall   
I may be stern, but   
I also turn into a cat.   
Transfigurations galore. 

Head of the Gryffindor House.   
What else can I say?   
Perhaps I should add: Meow. 

V. Oliver Wood   
Quidditch quidditch quid-   
-ditch quidditch quidditch quidditch;   
My name is Oliver Wood. 

I like quidditch immensely.   
Gryffindor Keeper;   
Have I mentioned quidditch yet? 

VI. Draco Malfoy   
Nobody likes me.   
I'm a nasty Slytherin.   
Greasy hair; I like to whine. 

I need a good kick in the -   
Are you listening?   
I probably smell bad too. 

Author's Postscript: For those who were planning to ask, I have no idea what I was on when I wrote these, and no, you can't have any. Thanks for reading, there will be more to come! 


	2. VII to XII

Author's Note: Here we go, the next set of HaiPu. Hope you like 'em. I actually wrote these before the fifth book came out, which is the explanantion for the last line about Dumbledore (back when everyone was speculating about what was going to happen in OotP). Thanks for reading!

* * *

VII. Marcus Flint   
Horribly ugly   
Slytherin Quidditch Captain.   
I smell as bad as Malfoy. 

Look at my horrible teeth.   
Braces? What are those?   
Someone should knock my teeth in. 

VIII. Tom Riddle   
I am pure evil;   
My name is an anagram.   
How very convenient. 

I cannot be defeated -   
Harry Potter sucks.   
Fear me, for I am evil. 

IX. Dumbledore   
Long beard, pointy hat.   
I can't turn into a cat,   
But I am wicked awesome. 

Despite popular belief,   
I am not Gandalf.   
Will I die in the next book? 

X. Ron   
My two best friends are   
Harry and Hermione.   
Red hair, freckles, broken wand. 

Those lying gits, George and Fred -   
I hate spiders, and   
The greatest Weasley is me! 

XI. Percy   
Just for the record,   
I do not have a big head,   
And I'm the greatest Weasley! 

My brothers are just jealous   
Of my Head Boy badge   
That I polish every night. 

XII. Gringotts Goblin   
Welcome to Gringotts -   
Deposit or withdrawal?   
Follow me to the mine cart. 

Lamp, please. Key, please. Watch your step.   
Give me your money -   
Galleons, sickles, and knuts. 


	3. XIII to XVIII

A/N: Next set. Thanks for reading!

* * *

XIII. Hagrid   
I like animals.   
Dragons, spiders, and   
Three-headed dogs named Fluffy. 

Dumbledore is the greatest;   
I am very big.   
Beware the pink umbrella. 

XIV. Hermione   
Books, books, books, books, books.   
I am quite intelligent   
For an eleven year old. 

Harry and Ron are hopeless   
And not quite as smart,   
But they saved me from a troll. 

XV. Nearly Headless Nick   
Turned down once again   
From the blasted Headless Hunt -   
Only missed by half an inch! 

Please call me Sir Nicholas.   
I'm quite transparent   
And the Gryffindor House ghost. 

XVI. Scabbers   
Squeaky squeaky squeak.   
I'm not Peter Pettigrew,   
I swear. Squeak squeak wink squeak squeak. 

Ron cannot turn me yellow.   
I'm missing a toe.   
Being a rat sure does suck. 

XVII. Quirrel   
H-Hello Harry,   
Does my turban look okay?   
It's not hiding great evil... 

Lord Voldemort? Wh-who's that?   
Don't mind the stutter -   
Look! Snape's trying to kill you! 

XVIII. Flitwick   
I am very small.   
Hogwarts' Professor of Charms;   
Head of the Ravenclaw House. 

My first name is Filius,   
Which is pretty cool;   
I can also make things float. 


End file.
